The NFL Rundown with SBJ: About that -9, Tyson…

Two primetime games didn’t exactly go as SBJ foresaw. Let him tell you how he feels about it.

THE NFL RUNDOWN WITH SBJ

WEEK 7 HINDSIGHT REPORT

TNF

SEAHAWKS @ NINERS – PFC (2-1)

———————————–

9:30am EST

BILLS @ JAGUARS – HDC (1-2)

———————————–

1pm EST

BROWNS @ RAMS – PFHC (1-2)

STEELERS @ CHIEFS – HFS (0-3)

TEXANS @ DOLPHINS – PFHP (2-1)

JETS @ PATRIOTS – PushPFP (2-0-1)

VIKINGS @ LIONS – HFC (1-2)

FALCONS @ TITANS – HDS (0-3)

BUCS @ REDSKINS – HDPFC (2-1)

SAINTS @ COLTS – HDPS (1-2)

9:30am & 1pm TOTALS

PUBLIC  (10-16-1)

HOUSE  (16-10-1)

———————————-

4pm EST

RAIDERS @ BOLTS – HDPC (2-1)

COWBOYS @ GMEN – PFP (3-0)

4pm TOTALS

PUBLIC  (5-1)

HOUSE  (1-5)

———————————-

1pm/4pm TOTALS

PUBLIC  (15-17-1)

HOUSE  (17-15-1)

———————————-

SNF

EAGLES @ PANTHERS – PFC (2-1)

———————————-

MNF

RAVENS @ CARDINALS – PDHFC (1-2)

———————————-

WEEK 7 OVERALL

PUBLIC (20-21-1)

HOUSE (21-20-1)

IMG_7570

PRIMETIME COMBOS

SIDE

WEEK 1 – HOUSE/HOUSE/HOUSE

WEEK 2 – PUBLIC/HOUSE

WEEK 3 – PUBLIC/PUBLIC

WEEK 4 – PUBLIC/HOUSE

WEEK 5 – HOUSE/HOUSE

WEEK 6 – HOUSE/HOUSE

WEEK 7 – PUBLIC/PUBLIC

———————–

PRIMETIME COMBOS

TOTAL POINTS*

WEEK 1 – OVER/UNDER/UNDER

WEEK 2 – UNDER/UNDER

WEEK 3 – UNDER/OVER

WEEK 4 – UNDER/UNDER

WEEK 5 – OVER/UNDER

WEEK 6 – OVER/UNDER

WEEK 7 – UNDER/UNDER

*Public riding all overs

IMG_7580I owe that poor kid a huge apology.  I told Tyson he was pushing on that CARDINALS -9 at the worst, and of course, what happens?  Vegas has to fix the Monday nighter, due to extenuating scoring circumstances, with a late backdoor cover.

So, I guess these longer extra points really are going to abolish last week’s theory on irrelevant line movements from here on out, aren’t they?  Especially, when the only thing that could have possibly ruined that CARDINALS -10(105) was a blocked punt…which happened.  Plus, a converted two point attempt following a touchdown…which happened.  Man, talk about a freakin’ domino effect, huh?

IMG_7568

By the way, I’m giving myself a loss for that CARDINALS -8 prediction, instead of marking it as a push.  I’m going to score my records by whatever the final line is on both the side and the total point bets.  So, Saturday night I took CARDINALS -8, but by kickoff it closed at CARDINALS -10(-105).  Since I stated in my Sportsbook 101 post that you should always wait 15 minutes before kickoff to place your bets, in order to gauge the late money movement, I’m going to stick myself with whatever those numbers land at, ya get me?  Those numbers will never be relevant to me anyway.  They aren’t what we’re training to look at in this class, right?  We’re looking at the money.  Those are the numbers that count.

Speaking of money, anyone notice the side primetime combo this week?  PUBLIC/PUBLIC.  So far, that’s the second PUBLIC/PUBLIC out of the seven total weeks.  It’s also the least likely combo you’ll see, once the season ends.  So, we already know, before even looking at these Week 8 primetime matchups, that The House is guaranteed to hit one of these two side bets.  Keep that in mind when choosing your sides this week.

Now, watch after having just said that, Vegas grants a PUBLIC/PUBLIC combo on the sides in back-to-back weeks, just to spite me once again.  That will be proof positive that they are terrified of the teachings in this course.  The fact that they would be willing to take four national game loses in a row just to try and discredit me to throw you off their scent!  The nerve!  Look at me.  It hasn’t even happened yet, and I’m already getting worked up about it.

I’m almost rooting for it to happen now, because in a cryptic way it will be a complete validation of everything I’m telling you.  That may sound contradictory, but it makes perfect sense, as far as I’m concerned.  Chalk it up to being an original thinker.  Your move, Vegas.

IMG_7569

EAGLES +3(-120) @ PANTHERS -3(EVEN)

OVER/UNDER: 45.5

IMG_7572

Disclaimer: Just for the record, I love Cam Newton.  I’ve given him the reins to my fantasy franchise in past years.  In fact, three of the last four seasons I’ve drafted either him or a recipient of his throws.  On a fashionable note, I think the Panthers have a top five NFL uniform.  It’s a fabulous logo.  The colors are fresh and original.  I hope they never alter anything about it in the slightest.  If I was a Carolina fan I’d own one jersey in every color.  They are absolutely gorgeous.  The only uniform I’d ever want to see Cam in other than Carolina blue is an Eagles jersey.  I love everything about him.  All that being said, let my Scorpio dagger tongue rant about the antics I witnessed on Sunday night.  Ready?  Hope so…

Hey, Panthers.  Don’t think I’m not wise to your little SBJ digs on SNF last week.  Talkin’ a lot of trash for a team that was one possession from blowing that game late.  Not to mention that fluky Bradford INT you were blessed with early on, which Al Michaels even labeled as “a gift”.   How about that Stewart fumble that suspiciously was not called, which would have given my birds the ball inside your 40-yard line, but instead lead to your first touchdown drive?  Oh, we’re not gonna talk about that?  I see.

(Sarcastic eye roll)

So, pipe down, fellas.  Acting like you just advanced to the NFC Championship or something with all that show boating.  Congrats on another win against a team without a winning record.  What a juggernaut you guys are, huh?  Right.  Talk to me after Week 9, ok?  You are a wildcard team at best.  This is Atlanta’s division this year.  You know why?  Because SBJ said it was…that’s why.  So, enjoy showcasing your perfect record in this week’s primetime game against yet another team with a losing record.  Y’all actually think you’re battle tested, don’t you?  News Flash: I’ve rested on pillows harder than this schedule.  Oh, and have Tolbert work on that touchdown dance, will ya?  Holy moley.  That’s a bigger disgrace than my Eagle’s record right now.

Oh, and Cam.  Two touchdowns to Olsen this week would be huge for me.   Still hope you get your asses kicked after the disrespect you showed me though.  How dare you treat the SBJ like that on national television.  Bunch of demon satan worshippers, if you ask me.  Seriously, though…throw him three touchdowns, and I’ll order a Newton jersey before the clock strikes twelve.  Love ya, Cam.  Your team sucks.

Sorry.  Just had to get that off my chest.  It’s been almost a week, and I’m still fired up about that loss.  Do I seriously have to take a trip down to the Eagles practice facilities during this bye week, and slap the crap out of every player who dropped one of Bradford’s passes?  My man, Beckham can do it with three fingers.  None of you can do it with all ten?  That was a complete embarrassment.  Get it together, guys.  You are so much better than this, which is why it sets me off to such an extent.    

My Eagle defense….couldn’t be happier.  You are everything I want in a defense and more.  Don’t ever change.  I love you.  You make me so proud.  You don’t even have to report to this meeting I’m about to call, unless you would enjoy seeing me rip into this entire wide receiving corps.

IMG_7574

RAVENS +10(-115) @ CARDINALS -10(-105)

OVER/UNDER: 49

IMG_7573

Really Cards?  Really?  A missed extra point, and then the worst thing you could possibly have happen?  A blocked punt deep in your own territory on your next possession?  I’ve never seen a hole you could literally drive a truck through right in the middle of a punt formation, like the one that parted in Red Sea fashion on that punt block.  Well, excluding an Indianapolis punt, of course.  Unreal.  Then, after letting up a touchdown, you can’t even stop the two-point conversion moved back to the seven yard line, after a false start by Baltimore?

IMG_7476

If that wasn’t enough of an annoyance, you have to give me a heart attack, by threatening my Cardinals moneyline along with the under?  All of those things happening with less than five minutes to play in the game?!  Man, oh man.  The emotional swings in gambling, baby.  Ain’t nothing like it.

Livid.  That just reeked of a fix.  I want the league office sent footage of those final five minutes, and have Arizona’s entire special teams brought in for questioning.  I’m dead serious.  Easily in my top ten flukiest backdoor covers in all my years of doing this.

Well, the crown jewel of extenuating scoring circumstances made the jump above -8 unfortunately relevant in the end.  What a freakshow finish.  Thanks for deliberately sabotaging another lesson plan, Vegas!  Livid, I say!  

IMG_7743
“I hated that sooo much. It, it, the flames, flames. Flames…on the side of my face.”

Between both of these games, I had the life sucked out of me this week.  I almost called in a substitute for today, because I’m still so pissed off about it.  No homework this week.  No lesson.  I need to regroup after that horrendous primetime display.

See ya, Sunday.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s