NFL RUNDOWN WITH SBJ: …PUT ONE UP IN THE SKY

3-6. Brutal. Probably shouldn’t have gloated about the Labor Day run. Serves me right. In the words of the mother of the 41st President of the United States…”Don’t gloat…

I think me and Cam could both take a lesson from this insightful woman to heart. Hear her, Cam?  No elaborate celebrating after every time the chains move. No premeditated dances you’ve spent an entire offseason choreographing in front of your mirror. No lame post game sideline group shots pointing to the left, right, and whatever other nonsense you have planned this year. It’s not likable behavior, it’s tacky, and it reeks of a rookie having never been in the end zone before.

Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely LOVE Cam. Love him. I’m not saying I’m any better, by any stretch of the imagination. I’m as guilty as you, my man. I’m lecturing you as I’m currently staring at my reflection, so this is something we both need to work on, and seriously take to heart. Ok? Let’s let the work speak for itself. Do your job, and I’ll do mine. Period.

How much of a sports sociological shockwave would that send across the entire league, right? If Cam went into full emotional shutdown mode. Picture him scampering down the sidelines for a 30 yard score, after leaping over two defenders, then he stands up and gets his hands in position to reveal the Superman hope. He pauses for a second, then just drops his arms and slowly starts walking to the sidelines with a face of stone, like Drago. Can you imagine that? Immediately, it’s the talk of the town. Sports radio talking heads would have a field day for the next 72 hours.

“Are we seeing a new, Cam? Is this a statement being made? Are the Panthers in ‘all business mode’, now?”

Terrifying. Wouldn’t it be? Seriously, you wouldn’t think to yourself, “Uh, oh. This looks dangerous”? Hell, I would. Although, keep the running jump shot after the score as you make your way to the sidelines. I adore that. That’s it though. Nothing more.

So, shall we get right into my train wreck of an opening weekend? Why not.

This 3-6 start to the gambling season, after boasting about my $580+ profit over the holiday weekend, was a precise equivalent of the Rocky III montage, where he is just mauling contender, after contender, after contender. Then, tragically followed up with a devastating Clubber Lange beatdown.


I’m 8-1. Feeling great. Enjoying all the perks of my newfound fame, rocking Kanye, but failing to see the reality check about to slam me right in the face, which is eerily similar to the Panthers run last season. All of that first fight naturally playing out over the course of three Week 1 primetime games.

So, without further ado….my emotional roller coaster of an opening weekend quiz. Fasten your seat belts, folks.


2016 NFL REGULAR SEASON OVERALL RECORD

2016 NFL REGULAR SEASON SIDE

2016 NFL REGULAR SEASON MONEYLINE

2016 NFL REGULAR SEASON TOTAL POINTS


PUBLIC
——————————

SNF 2-1

—————-

MNF 4-2

—————-

OVERALL

6-3

—————-

SIDE

2-1

—————-

MONEYLINE

2-1

—————-

TOTAL POINTS

2-1

————————–

HOUSE

—————————-

SNF 1-2

—————–

MNF 2-4

—————–

OVERALL

3-6

—————–

SIDE

1-2

—————–

MONEYLINE

1-2

—————–

TOTAL POINTS

1-2

————————–

SPORTSBOOK JESUS

——————————

SNF 1-2

—————–

MNF 2-4

—————–

OVERALL

3-6

—————–

SIDE

1-2


—————–

MONEYLINE

0-3


—————–

TOTAL POINTS

2-1

————————-

PATRIOTS +9 @ CARDINALS -9 

OVER/UNDER: 44.5

OPEN CLASSIFICATION: PEOPLE’S FAVORITE HOUSE CROSS(PFHC)

PICK: CARDINALS -9 & OVER 44.5

AUDIBLE: UNDER 44.5(HDS)

CLASSIFICATION: PEOPLE’S DOG CROSS(PDC)







STEELERS -2.5(-115)@ REDSKINS +2.5(-105)


OVER/UNDER: 48.5[over(-115)]

OPEN CLASSIFICATION: HOUSE DOG PEOPLE’S SPECIAL(HDPS)



PICK: REDSKINS +121 & UNDER 48.5(HDPS)

PICK AUDIBLE: NONE(HDPS)

CLASSIFICATION: PEOPLE’S FAVORITE HOUSE PICK(PFHP)

RAMS -2.5(-105) @ NINERS +2.5(-115)

OVER/UNDER: 44[over(-115)]

OPEN CLASSIFICATION: PEOPLE’S FAVORITE CROSS(PFC)



PICK: RAMS -2.5(-105) & OVER 44[over(-115)]

PICK AUDIBLE: RAMS -135**& UNDER 44*(HDPFC)

*the Golden Rule**

**the Golden Rule Cross***

CLASSIFICATION: HOUSE DOG CROSS(HDC)

“No words….just pictures.” – Al Michaels

***we’ll get into that Sunday

See ya, Sunday.

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